This semester I am taking a parenting class. Kind of odd for a single girl who just got off her mission. But it is required for my major and it is actually a super interesting class.
Just recently I read an article about "The Parenting Pyramid." Here is the pyramid:
It all starts from the bottom. Our personal being effects our relationship with our spouse which effects our relationship with our children which can lead to how we teach them and correct them.
The article was written by a man who wanted to teach his sons a lesson. They were 13 and 11 and one night went to to go hang out and play pool at a low-class club with a bunch of pre-teens hanging all over each other and smoking. He wanted them to know that this was not okay. But he learned that they couldn't learn from him until he had a strong relationship with them. And so that is what he did, he built a relationship with them by taking them to the pool club every Friday night for four weeks. After the fourth week he simply said "You know something guys? I don't think we should play pool anymore." Their response... "Okay Dad." The man doesn't say, but I think the sons agreed so easily because he had taken the time to actually go out and play pool with them. He saw the environment and his sons knew that. It wasn't just him laying down the hammer because he is their father and what he says goes. Rather he took the time to build that relationship with them and I think they respected him for that.
The author says that the solution to a problem in one part of the pyramid lies below that part of the pyramid. If you are struggling to discipline your child, go back and build a relationship with them. If you are struggling with your relationship with your spouse, evaluate your life. Are you being selfless or selfish in your relationship?
Why is this important? Well because parenting isn't easy (not that I would know) but we have to understand why something isn't working and what would work better. As the author said "as we are patient, and as we do all we can where we can, we can make a deep and genuine difference in the life of even the most unhappy child."
Here is a link to the article for anyone who would like to read it for themselves: http://www.krapu4.com/psy/PDF/ParentingPyramid.pdf
