Working Parents

In class Monday we talked about working parents. One thing that I found very interesting that Brother Williams told us was about a family who was actually wasn't earning any more money by having the mother work as well. The parents believed that because now that there were earning more money with the mother working the could do more stuff. Their sons could do more sports and other activities. Of course they would sometimes grab some fast-food dinner between all their activities. When all their costs were added up, the wife's whole paycheck had been spent. She was working and losing time she could spend with her children for almost no reason. I found this very interesting because I had never thought about this, people believe that because they have two incomes they can spend more. But in reality, they are spending more than they should be.

Let's Communication

This week we talked about communication and power/conflict and the importance of counseling. When we communicate about 14% is the words we use, 35% is our tone and 51% is non-verbal. I thought this was really interesting because what we are saying is only 14% of what the other person receives and reads when we are communicating.
There are different types of power spouses have and use over each other. The six different types of power are: Coercive, Reward, Legitimate, Expert, Referent, and Informational. Often times couples use these different powers over their spouse without even realizing it. Coercive power to negative and it to afford punishment. Reward power is positive in which you receive some kind of reward from your spouse. Legitimate power is when your spouse has the right to ask and you have the duty to comply. Expert power is when the spouse has special knowledge or expertise over the topic therefore they get their way. Referent power is reference for the power. You obey them because you love them and desire to please them. Informational power is persuasion by the spouse because they want what is in your best interest.

When Stress Events Hit

This week we talked about when the family is under stress. Every family experiences stress. They all feel it a different way but it is almost impossible that a family will not encounter some kind of event that will put them under stress. I know my family have had several of those. From moving into a new house to having car problems. Some events are big and some are small but they cause us stress and shape our families. But it isn't only the stress event itself that creates the outcome. There a model called ABCX that shows how we react to the stress events that causes the outcome. A is the Actual event that takes place. For example lets use moving into a new house. B is Both the resources and responses. When we moved we had several resources: we turned to family, friends, and the ward for help. Responses were willing to help and our response was that we were ready to move even though it was a very unorganized moved. We weren't negative and tried to keep a positive attitude. C stands for Cognition.  What we think during the event. The move was chaotic. But I remember having fun during the move. One of my best friends had spent the night the night before the move and so together we took trips back and forth moving stuff into the new house. I'm sure every family member was thinking something different. But I don't think there was anyone who expressed negativity. X is the total eXperience. The total experience depends on the event, resources & responses and cognition  It is up to us what the experience of the stress event will be.

Becoming husband and wife- creating that bond

This week was about becoming husband and wife and sharing that intimacy that helps create that special bond. The couple need to be mindful of each other  and have that time together be a special moment for them to cherish and draw closer to each other. We also read about being faithful to your spouse. Affairs are all too easy to start but hard to end and to get rid of the pain that comes from it. Someone may be having an emotional affair without even realizing it. A woman told her story about this man she was very close to even though she was married to another man. She would hope that she would run into him, she thought about him a lot and talked to him online. She then realized she was in the beginning stages of an emotional affair. She felt terrible and wanted to show her husband that she truly did love him even though he didn't know what was going on. I know that as we are faithful to our spouse and create that sacred intimacy as husband and wife we are blessed and the Lord is proud of us. The Lord loves us and wants us to be happy, Satan will tempt with with infidelity telling us it will make us happy, but it was only bring more pain and suffering.